When you care for the health of a plant, you connect with that plant and pay attention to it. The practice is much like planting a garden. Yes, Joy of Life is still possible even after a loved one dies. The practice is to just notice and acknowledge the joy of life in the moment. Maybe you remember feeling joy and excitement when you see new buds opening on the plants in your garden. They often happen spontaneously, like when you are out with a friend and together you laugh or giggle at something or feel joy in watching your child or grandchild innocently play. Most of the time you don’t even have to look for joyful moments. It takes practice to realize that those joyful moments are new, unfamiliar and require some time to grow in the new garden of your heart and mind, especially when you are grieving. Practicing joyful moments takes a bit of work. In fact, practicing joyful moments can become an act of healing. To encourage the memory of special times with your loved one, you can practice joyful moments. So which do you feel - the bitterness of loss or the sweet joy of cherished memories? Nostalgia is both bitter and sweet, and there are other opposites as well - good and bad, right and wrong, beautiful and ugly, grief and joy - where love, sadness and joy mingle. Normal feelings of yearning are part of your grief. Misty watercolor memories of the way we were.” These words so clearly describe the feeling of nostalgia and yearning for what was. You may have heard Barbra Streisand so beautifully sing the lyrics to the song “The Way we Were.” The first few words: “Memories light the corners of my mind. Even when you know the sad reality, your heart is longing for what was. When you’re grieving, it’s normal to want your loved one to be with you. Nostalgia is that deep longing, that yearning for what was. People, places, events, times: we miss them, and there’s a pleasure in the missing and a sadness in the love. It’s that combination, that opposition of forces, that makes it so compelling. ![]() Nostalgia is, by its very nature, bittersweet, the happiest memories laced with melancholy.
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